Farewell 23, and HELLO 24!

Tomorrow is my 24th birthday. Too be honest, I don't care too much for celebrating or receiving any attention for my birthday. But rather I am excited for being another year older. I am hoping that I learn as much, if not more than I did when I was 23. 23 was an interesting year.

Here are some lessons I learned in my 23rd year:

1.Acknowledge your emotions when they arise. If you are experiencing: anger, BE ANGRY sadness,BE SAD, and so on. Deal with your current emotions, and then move on when it passes. I finally allowed myself to deal with my emotions as they came, and it has made all the difference. I feel a lot more emotionally stable now.

2.Don't let your insecurities get the best of you. It won't do you or anyone else any good. It's better to just accept yourself as you are, and people can take it or leave it. You are unique and a one of kind, why try to change that? We are all individuals, what a beautiful gift.

3. Be responsible for your own life. At 23, don't expect anyone to take pity for you. At 23 you're an adult and should be able to handle basic life responsibilities. * I am still working on this one.

4. The present moment is the only thing we're guaranteed so ENJOY it!

5. Life is only as complicated as you make it!

6. Balance is key.

7. You're never too old to be silly!

I can happily say I am ending 23 in contentment. That within itself is an accomplishment, I believe. So here is to 24. May it be a year of more personal growth, many adventures, excellent health, and new found relationships!

Here is a quote to provoke some thought:

"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself."
—Wallace Wattles

Some questions and things..

Have you ever done something less then your best? Are you okay with being mediocre? Is living a semi-charmed life fulfilling, or is just simply comforting? Is the threshold of pain to much to handle once it is pushed? I think the answer to all of these is yes. At least in my case.

Only in extreme cases do I find myself living up to my best potential. Giving 100% to everything I do. For example, I shattered my ankle (literally) and made a remarkable recovery. I can run again, and do anything I please when I was told I couldn't. However, I play a game of Ultimate and I play lazily, I lack confidence, and play like I think don't know what I am doing. Or I failed a class in college because I didn't want to put in the effort forth. I don't take my yoga practice to the next level phase because it hurts.

But I can shattered my ankle, and make an incredible recovery. I lose my mom and come out stronger than before, and always hold my head up high. Something is missing. And it's frustrating. It's been proven time and again, that if I put my mind to something I can truly achieve anything.

Perhaps, it is because the easy things aren't challenging, so I don't see the point. I am not what it is that is holding me back but I am going to take the necessary steps to accomplish these tasks. So I am compiling a list.

Lets call it: BE BETTER

1. Do more of everything.
2. Play more Ultimate. At least 2 or 3 times a week.
3. Push myself more in yoga.
4. Relax
5. Do something active everyday
6. Get back into theater.
7. Be motivated everyday.
8. No excuses.
9. No whining
10. Believe in my abilities.
11. Want to be better.
12. Ask for help
13. MORE, MORE, MORE!

I've done before. Now I am certain I can do it again. There are no excuses. My mind is in control of my actions. So let gains control of this steering wheel. And drive it in the the right direction with fierce determination.

new beginnings...

Have you ever taken a risk and been rewarded for your courage? Or have you had a door get slammed violently in your face, to have another door magically open? This is where I currently find myself. And I find I like it quite a bit.

I recently moved to Seattle, WA. I prefer to call it the "Emerald City" over the "Rainy City". Anyways, I hail from a life before only known in the 4 corners area. I have and always will love Arizona, Colorado, and New Mexico. However, life had become dull, lack luster, stagnant, redundant, and well booooring.

I found it difficult to find friends and get a decent job, or too have any sort of motivation to do either. I was about to get stuck in this lonely unhappy state, I found myself in. I returned to the summer camp I have spent four summers at now this past summer, and in the midst of it all I made a rash decision. I made the decision to move to Seattle on a whim.

My friend from college lives here, and offered me a place to live. And that is what I based my decision on. I didn't need a job, or a plan, but I knew that what I needed was a change.

So here I am settling into my new life in Seattle. I have been here for a little over two weeks now. And I just got a job, I have awesome roommates, I am playing ultimate, doing Yoga, and genuinely loving life again. There is so much unknown about my current life that thrills me. Who knows what kinds of personalities I'll meet along the way, and what stories I will have to share. I don't know yet, and I find that wonderful!

Where did she go?

Once upon a time, in not too far off land lived a girl. This girl was by no means perfect or anywhere close. She awkward, odd, offbeat, free spirited, and completely genuine. And on top of that she loved herself. So, I suppose in a certain sense she was perfectly imperfect. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way she lost herself.

This confident genuine girl some how lost what made her so appealing and beautiful. This poor girl I speak of, happens to be me. Where has my love for myself gone? I do believe I left it in a speck of dust. Now, it has been formed into a dust ball and blown about..

I have been on the move since May 2009. From Colorado to Washington, my life is changing and my confidence is diminishing. I don't remember the last time I felt completely confident with myself. I realize that is, and has always been a great struggle of mine. I am not sure I have ever been willing to admit this before.

To most people, I come across as this confident and carefree woman. Little do they know, just how plagued with insecurity I am. At times, I find myself ravenously jealous and I try to compensate with being loud or gaining all the attention.


Luckily, I have found a strong sense of security once before. I know I can find it again. So, a new goal of mine to to find that confident, carefree, and outrageously sexy girl I lost too long ago and love her again. Because, that girl deserves to love herself and to be loved.

Here is my challenge: remain completely single and sex free until Megan Weber becomes the girl that everyone praise her to be: a confident, sexy, and genuine girl.

I am not wandering, I am seeking.

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. World losers and world foresakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. Yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems.”

Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy quotes

I just stumbled upon this quote and find it to quite beautifully sum up how I feel about myself in the world. Some people may call me a free spirit, others may call me irresponsible, but I like to think of my self as wanderer seeking and exploring.

I may not be the motivated business and academic minded person some people would like me to be. That is simply just not me. I whistle to my own tune. I dream wild, vivid, and wondrous dreams. I thrive on the senses and experiences. On sights, sounds, touch, people, and places. I move people around me and I tend to accidentally shake things up.

I can't possibly change what is intrinsically me. That would be changing the very core of what makes me, ME. So, rather I must work with what I got. Shake what my mama gave me, and that most definitely isn't a ba dunk a dunk in da trunk.

Using, the small ass I do have I am going to take this little booty and teach it how to shake. Shake in all kinds of erotic and silly ways. But in reality, I am going to discover how my eccentricities exactly fit into this complicated 3D puzzle called Life.

I have plans. Plans for seeking. They are not extravagant or even bizarre. Rather, exactly what I need and quite simple. In less two weeks, I am moving to Seattle. Like I said, nothing to crazy. It is new though, and something I have always wanted to do. Pack my bags, move to a city without any plans, and figure it out. Hopefully, lots of adventures will happen along the way. And it would be even better, if it worked out. However, if doesn't no worries either. Sometimes, the pieces of the puzzle just come together.

I'll document my experiences here. For your reading pleasure. Bah haha, shhhyeah right.